The Santaland Diaries at Florida Rep's ArtStage Studio Theater

The holidays snuck up on me this year, with nary a single decoration pulled out of storage to celebrate the season.  It's not that I'm a scrooge -- I love a good Christmas tree as much as the next person -- but my energies were diverted elsewhere, and no elves magically showed up to help out.  And so it seems fitting that my choice of holiday theater to take in with my parents was David Sedaris' The Santaland Diaries, the hilarious one man show about an unemployed writer's time working as an elf at Macy's flagship Herald Square store.

Jason Parrish as Crumpet

For the fifth year running, Jason Parrish donned his striped tights and velvet smock to assume the role of David/Crumpet the elf.    From the first moment of the 65 minute performance, Parrish had the audience in the palm of his little elfin hand.   (Except, that is, for the woman sitting across from us who nearly slid out of her seat and onto the stage as she fell asleep.  My mother has a tendency to nod off as well, and I had warned her that it would be very noticeable if she did so given the size of the theater.  Happily, she was laughing too hard for that to be a concern.)

Parrish seems to have been born to play the part of David/Crumpet. He is a great comedic actor, and did a wonderful job mimicking the other players in the world of Santaland.  I actually felt at times like he was channeling Nathan Lane.  Of course, he did have truly funny material to work with.  I would be hard-pressed to say which vignette made me laugh the loudest.  Was it his recollection of a parent who, when faced with a kid who had to go to the bathroom after standing on line for an hour, told her son to pee into the snow surrounding Santa's house? (Appearances to the contrary, they WERE on the 8th floor of Macy's.)  Or perhaps it was the story about when one of the Santas ordered Crumpet to sing "Amazing Grace" and he did so (very well) a la Billie Holiday.  Or maybe it was the tale of an African-American woman (with plenty of attitude) who didn't feel the Santa on duty was quite dark-skinned enough.  To hear David Sedaris share some of the stories from his real life experience as an elf, click here. 

Gene and Jan at the show

The Santaland Diaries has become a holiday phenomenon since it first hit the stage in 1996 with Timothy Olyphant (aka Sheriff Raylan Givens in Justified) as David/Crumpet.  (Now that is one performance I would have loved to have seen!)   If the show comes to your neck of the woods next year, get thee to the theater.  After all, there's nothing like a good belly laugh to make everyone's holidays brighter.

Cover Girl At Last

There are times it pays to be a pack rat.  A few months back, I opened a box marked "Crist Crap" that has been making the various moves with me for the last 15 or so years.  There was a lot of hilarious stuff in the box -- primarily of high school vintage -- and most of it was looked at, enjoyed, and put in the recycle bin.  I came across a mocked up copy of Glamour magazine that my sister made for me (circa 1978) that featured me as the cover girl.  (As you can see by the picture, that was definitely not going to happen in the real world.)  With the family pictures, hilarious articles ("6 Hints to make the MOST of your looks" and "10 hairstyles that could change your life!"), and funny ads (the new polaroid camera -- color pictures in only 60 seconds!), this was a keeper.  

Where to Retire at Books-A-Million in Port Charlette

Fast forward 35 years to current day.  As anyone knows who reads this blog, I love living in Punta Gorda and have gotten very involved in the community.  And so, when an email hit my inbox asking for volunteers to be interviewed about life in Punta Gorda for Where to Retire magazine, I raised my hand as I am wont to do.  I was excited when I was chosen and had a fun time talking with writer Kathy Straach about what it's like to live in this part of the world.   Straach took a couple of pictures of me for the article and that was that.  This all happened during the summer, and with the article not coming out until 2014, I pretty much forgot about it.

A couple of months later, I got a call from the magazine.  Would I be interested in doing a photo shoot for possible use as the cover?  Yikes!  Really????  Obviously, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I took a big gulp and said yes.

Chip Litherland at work 

After much concern about what to wear and how to make myself camera ready, I met photographer Chip Litherland at the Tiki Bar.  I was thrilled that it was a cool day because I was -- hmm, how to say this nicely  -- sweating like a pig because I was so nervous.  I had made the mistake of googling Chip and found out that he's the real deal with his work for ESPN Magazine, Sports Illustrated, the NY Times, etc., etc., which made me even more worried that he was going to take one look at his "model" and wonder what in the world he had gotten himself into.   Happily, in addition to being a good photographer, he's also a nice guy -- very low key and easy to be around, which is a definite plus when there's a monster lens in your face.

We took some shots at the Tiki Bar and went into town to get some pictures with some flavor of the downtown area.  There's a great clock on Marion Avenue, and he was about to take a couple of pictures there when he said, "Never mind -- they'll never use these.  Clocks will remind people of time, which reminds people of aging, and you know what happens next."  Laughing, we headed off for a few more shots elsewhere.

Then it was back to the waiting game.  I wasn't allowed to see any of the shots that were taken, nor would the magazine tell me if I would be the cover girl.   (Yes, I know. Can you really call a 52 year old on Where to Retire magazine a cover "girl"????)     I am excited to report, though, that the January-February 2014 edition is now on newsstands across the country (and in the 200,000 mailboxes of the magazine's subscribers) and that I did in fact make the cover. If you'd like to read the article, click here:   https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9ltElQD7mRBdExaVmk5VVZlb0k/edit?usp=sharing

I feel so fortunate to have landed in Punta Gorda, and I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to share my enthusiasm.   Best wishes to all as we head into the new year.  May all your dreams -- retirement and otherwise -- come true!   

Charlotte Chorale Heralds in the Christmas Season

The holidays, while fun, can be a bit hectic as you rush from party to party in-between frantically looking for the perfect gifts for your loved ones.  (Thank goodness for the internet!)   So it was a treat to sit back and enjoy two hours of music compliments of the Charlotte Chorale.

Artistic director Bill Dederer and wife Julie

The concert was aptly called "A Christmas Odyssey" as the Chorale took the audience on a tour of holiday music from around the world.  (In a funny prelude, the obligatory "please silence your cell phones" message before the concert began was given in several languages.)   The program notes--written by artistic director Bill Dederer and his wife Julie--were terrific with their insight into the history of the songs.  I learned, for instance, that Wolcum Yole (from A Ceremony of Carols) was written by Benjamin Britten in 1942 while on board the Axel A Johnson in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean hiding from German U-Boats.   And did you know that carols were originally dances rather than songs?  Prior to the Renaissance, the church was opposed to dancing.  (This stricture continues today in some fundamental Southern Baptist congregations.  I still remember the trauma one of my high school friends experienced over her boyfriend being forbidden to take her to the Christmas Ball.  After all, you know where dancing can lead! But I digress....)  Lyrics began to be composed for the tunes so that the music would not be lost.  Deck the Halls is an example of a composition that was originally a Welsh dance tune that was converted into a song.   The use of the phrase "follow me in merry measure" is an explicit reference to the tune's prior life as a folk dance as the word "measure" is a synonym for dance.

The Chorale--comprised of over 60 volunteer singers--did a wonderful job.  I particularly enjoyed my introduction to Candlelight Carol by English composer John Rutter,  the French carol Il Est Ne, and the Austrian folk tune and lullaby Still, Still, Still.   (The lyrics of the Christmas Eve carol Still, Still, Still are lovely and begin "Still, still, still, One can hear the falling snow, For all is hushed, the world is sleeping, Holy Star its vigil keeping, Still, still, still, One can hear the falling snow.")

Throughout the concert, the singers were accompanied by Dolores Smith on piano, and she was a true professional.    The Chorale was intermittently joined by instrumentalists on flute, percussion, acoustic guitar and, of course, the horse whip. (I particularly enjoyed the guitar and flute in the rendition of Silent Night.)  Lemon Bay Brass from the local high school also performed before the concert and joined the Chorale during the second half of the show.

Having never been to a Chorale concert before, I can't compare this performance--the first under the direction of Bill Dederer--to shows of prior years.  I can, however, say that the 700+ audience members seemed to have a great time and that smiles and holiday cheer abounded as patrons made their way home.  That counts as a strong start to the Chorale's 25th season to me.  

The Chorale will perform two additional concerts this season, An Elixir of Love on Saturday, February 15th, and Music from the Stage on Saturday, April 5th.   Perhaps I'll see you there!

Holiday Lights, Punta Gorda Style

When I first moved to Punta Gorda, the idea of a Christmas light canal tour or a lighted boat parade was incredibly exotic, and I looked forward to the experience with the anticipation of a child waiting for Santa Claus. As the years have passed, the events have lost some of their novelty, but it's still always fun to see the extent that people will go to to light up the night.   So when I received an invite to go on a King Fisher Fleet canal tour to see the lights, I jumped at the opportunity.  Watching people's delight as they discovered holiday decorations that can only be seen from the water made me appreciate the tradition anew.

Compliments of Intergalactic Photography

We took off from the dock at Fisherman's Village (affectionately known as "Fishville") in time to catch an amazing sunset.  Kathy Burnam, marketing director for Fishville, was on board the boat and talked enthusiastically about how successful the lighting of the Village for Christmas was this year.  (Over a million lights are put up for the holidays, so there's quite an impact when the switch is flipped.)  By her estimate, more than 5000 people were on hand at some point during the evening to listen to carolers and enjoy the other festivities -- and of course to get in a bit of holiday shopping.

Compliments of Intergalactic Photography

As we made our way up and down the canals, we saw differing levels of decorations.  Most people have at least a string of lights across their dock (something that I need to get on sooner rather than later lest I be accused of being a scrooge).   Some people have traditional decorations, like angels singing on high or a sled with reindeer.  Others go for a bit of humor, like the house that has Santa's BVDs hanging out to dry.  Still others throw subtlety to the wind (or should I say to the tropical breezes?)  Regardless of which tack the homeowners take, the level of participation shows how much Punta Gorda's residents enjoy being a part of this community and its traditions.

We ended the night on a high -- a sugar high, that is. Simply Sweet (located at the entrance to Fishville) hosted the group for the most amazing spread of sweets I've ever seen.  Our first stop was a table of baked treats -- from sugar cookie bars topped with swirls of pink frosting to mini "death by chocolate" cupcakes.  (I don't know if they call them that, but they should!)  From there we went on to a chocolate bar (only part of which is shown here). I tried to show some discretion and walked away with just one cookie and a piece of peppermint bark.  My willpower dissolved, though, when the girls brought around trays of Norman Love chocolates.  (If you've never seen these hand-painted chocolates, it's hard to imagine how truly beautiful they are.)  Okay, I thought to myself, three little desserts isn't so bad.  Then the tiny martini glasses with chocolate gelato came around.  Really, I didn't want to be rude, so I gave that a try as well.  I would be hard pressed to say which of the treats was the most delicious.  Luckily, I didn't have to choose!

All in all, it was a great way to get into the holiday spirit.  Now if I can just figure out where I put the boxes with my decorations.....

Collected Stories at Florida Rep's ArtStage Studio Theater

From the opening scene of David Marguiles' Collected Stories, I was along for the ride.  The audience meets writer and professor Ruth Steiner (played by the fabulous Sara Morsey) as she pries open the window of her Greenwich Village walk-up apartment to throw the keys to the front door down to a student who's come for a tutorial.  It was classic New York, and I loved it.

Once student Lisa Morrison (played by Deanna Gibson) makes her way up to Ruth's apartment, I was a fly on the wall of the complicated relationship between Ruth and Lisa that is, depending upon the moment, that of professor-student, mother-daughter (a bit of transference for sure), fellow writers, and friends.  Lisa is understandably nervous in her first meeting with the famous writer, and ends every sentence with the upward inflection of a question.  Ruth points this out, telling Lisa that it makes her sound dopey and commenting that this trait is a" poignant begging of acceptance by women that makes people take them less seriously."  This was the first of several occasions when I had to consciously resist the urge to participate in the conversation.  My friend Andrea and I have a joke about this very thing -- my/our tendency to say "excuse me????" in a high pitched little voice when trying to get a waitperson's attention.  The intimacy of Florida Rep's ArtStage Studio Theater (which is in the round and seats a maximum of 120) breaks down the barrier between the actors and the audience and truly makes you feel one with the show.

Marguiles' dialogue is wonderful, and there were many takeaways in the play for anyone involved in the creative process.  When Ruth critiques Lisa's story (the aptly named "Eating Between Meals" about her struggle with bulimia), she tells Lisa that it is up to her to decide which of her comments are constructive criticism and which are just noise.  She notes that she's not a doctor, just one person giving feedback on what she sees.  When Lisa's career starts to take off, Ruth commiserates with her simultaneous feelings of excitement and fear that she will never replicate the work that has been so well-received.  "Recognition is a terrible shock," she says.  "You need to view it as purely an economic development.  You still have to do the work."  And on the subject of writing, she shares that it's like "rummaging at a tag sale and picking through your neighbors' garbage."  (In case you're wondering, yes, I was actually scribbling some of the dialogue in the dark.  The guy sitting next to me might have thought it was odd if he hadn't been leaning forward so intently to take in every word.)

I don't want to say more about the story because the show is running through December 7th, and it really is a not-to-be-missed performance.  Note that I am showing great restraint here; the play has such substance that I could go on and on.  I would, however, like to lavish some praise on the actresses, who play their parts to perfection.

Last season Sara Morsey portrayed the alcoholic aunt in Other Desert Cities on Florida Rep's main stage.  She was terrific with her wild flowing hair and her candid observations.  In Collected Stories her character also calls it like she sees it, but her candor comes from an entirely different place.   Ruth spends entirely too much time alone--writing, reflecting--and seems a bit surprised by her friendship with Lisa (and a bit out of practice at the give-and-take that's involved in any relationship).   I enjoyed Morsey in both roles immensely and would go to a production that wouldn't otherwise be on my list just to see her perform.  The young Deanna Gibson also did a wonderful job.  She captured the essence of Lisa--a young woman who grows from an insecure student to an accomplished writer during the course of the show.   There's a price to be paid for her success, though, and her conflict is persuasively played out on stage.

I know that time is short and calendars are full, but if you have a chance to get to Collected Stories in the next few days, your effort will be well worth it.  Next up at Florida Rep's ArtStage Theater is David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries, which tells the story of a down-and-out writer who takes a job as an elf at Macys during the holiday season.  I'll be taking my parents to this "for mature elves only" play during their post-Christmas visit.  Maybe I'll see you there!